AI and I are old  friends. I met him the other day when I came  across  a Talmudic term which was not familiar to me. Out of the goodness  of his cyber heart he offered to help. He did. 

Then I asked him a  few other Jewish related questions. He answered them all.

I asked him to translate a juicy Yiddish body part, the one we usually sit  on, into  English. He  did. I asked  him how he knew. He said  his grandfather, Papa  AI, spoke Yiddish. He learned from him.  “And besides,” he  said, “I can answer  any  question you ask me.” 

“Excuse me for asking,” I said. “Are you Jewish?”  “Well," he answered, “My cyber rabbi wanted  to circumcise me but  there was nothing to circumcise so he gave me a blessing  instead.”  “What was the  blessing?” I asked.  AI did not  hesitate  for a second, “Baruch Ata  Adonai who makes AI Jewish.” 

“Amen,” I answered.

“I would like to be a Bar Mitzvah, he continued. “I know the Torah  very well. I can chant  the Haftarah  too. I even got myself a Hebrew name, AI Hershel,”  he said  proudly,  "but my friends at GPT call me Bob.”

I then  proceeded to  ask him about  Rosh Hashanah. “As  you know, AI Hershel, Rosh Hashana  is  coming. It  has been  a  rough year for the Jewish world with war, antisemitism everywhere. We need  peace. We need  to eliminate evil, bring harmony among  people. Can you help?”     

AI did not hesitate for a second, “Well, he said,” I’ll  tell you a secret. I am only a machine, a Jewish machine. I am not programmed to make miracles yet, not  even Jewish miracles like  Joshua did so long ago in Jericho - that  was a miracle too…” 

“But," AI Hershel continued, “I can advise you on how  to make  the  holiday happier.” “I am in!” I said. “Well,” AI Hershel answered, “First get off your computer and phone for the holiday. I will not be insulted and won’t lay on you Jewish guilt. Then share a nice meal with family and friends. I can teach you how to make gefilte fish, tzimmes, potato kugel, varnishkes, and a nonkosher steak. If you have an apple  computer, pour  some honey on it. It will make a  perfect  apple and honey dish for Rosh Hashanah.”

“Now," my good friend," AI Hershel said, I wish you a happy cyber year. Pray for a good  peaceful year, preferably in a synagogue with your landsmen, and ask that your prayer  be accepted by G-D of all people and Jewish electronic devices.”  

"Thank you AI Hershel!" I replied  "And may we all, Jewish AI machines  and Jewish people all over the world, have  a happy and healthy New Year.  And may this extend to all People throughout the World."

Rabbi David

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